Future Freshman

Ivy League Expectations (or not)  Pre Iylah days, Brede and I lived in Harvard Square.  It's still one of our very favorite places in Cambridge and we go back often to enjoy our favorite restaurants and coffee shops:  Borders, Darwins, L.A. Burdock    

Today we spent a lazy Sunday afternoon in Harvard Square enjoying brunch, shopping and just walking around for old times sake.  As we meandered through the Harvard CoOp  I saw a baby onsie similar to this: 

I've also seen this bib for sale from various vendors in the Prudential mall:

At first glance, these  can be cute and laughable - ha, ha so funny but then I give it a second thought. Would you want to subject your child to such high expectations?  What statement are you trying to make by dressing your child in these items?

Perhaps I'm being overly sensitive about this but here's a little secret - I graduated from MIT with both an engineering degree and MBA.  My best friend and her husband went to Harvard.  I have countless friends from business school or in my Management Consulting firm that have had the distinction of graduating Harvard.  Yet I would never, ever buy Iylah this bib or onsie (or the corresponding MIT ones), and it's not for a simple rivalry of "that little school up the river"   

I don't want to subject Iylah to these expectations.   Ever. 

I don't want her seeing pictures of herself wearing this bib or onsie and thinking "oh, my parents really wanted me to go to Harvard or MIT" and thinking that she's a disappointment or that we love her any less if that path doesn't materialize.   

For one, I think it's pretty unrealistic and it shouldn't be a goal in itself.  There are plenty of other goals in life far more worthy.   Secondly, that's an incredible amount of pressure to put on a child.   Perhaps I've just met too many parents who've obsessed over this to the detriment of their kids.   Is your child any less smart or less valuable if they don't go to some big name school?  Would you really love them any less? 

MIT or bust....  

My parents never expected me to go to MIT or  really any Ivy League school.   Sure, they were  proud when this did happen but it wasn't ever an expectation for either me or any of my siblings.  They just wanted us to find our way in life and be happy.  

I do not wish that Iylah will be a future Harvard or MIT freshman.  My wish for Iylah is three-fold:

1.)   Be happy - Iylah, I want you to find a path in life that will allow you to be happy and find joy everyday, whatever that path may be.

2.)  Self sufficient - I wish that you'll be financially self sufficient. This doesn't mean needing to be rich by any means but just having the financial means to support yourself so that you don't have to rely on or answer to anyone but yourself.   

3.) Respect and be thoughtful of others.  Be humble, thoughtful, value and respect others no matter how much money they have, where they came from, what school they did (or didn't go to), or what they believe.   

These three things I wish of you.   

Love.
Your Mommie.   


   

  



  

The Blustery Day

A Breeze on the Charles 
Today is a very blustery day in Boston.  Grey, wet and damn blustery. 

From weather.com - Note the text in red under the "Right Now" column.

It reminds me of that Winnie the Pooh story where it becomes so windy in the Hundred Acre Wood that piglet blows away.

Oh dear, hang on Piglet!!

This morning Iylah had her 4 month vaccination appointment near Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH).   We only have one car, which Brede now takes to work so I knew we'd be walking.  I bundled Iylah up in her little pink jacket, hat and put on her socks.   

As we walked out the door I also grabbed Brede's GoLite down jacket.  I've been stealing this lately because it's so light weight and warm.  Yes, I know it was a bit overkill for just a fall day but despite living in Boston I'm a total cold wuss.   

As we exited the Pediatrician's office it was REALLY windy, worse than when we had walked over.  The clouds were swirling around and the sky was dark.  At that moment I did consider taking the T (Boston's subway) back home instead of walking, but I love walking.  I'm trying to fit in 10,000 steps each day. I was also fully prepared for any rain with our stroller rain cover in tote.   A little wind and rain wasn't going to stop me!! 

Evening view of the Longfellow bridge that connects Boston, MA to Cambridge

Sunlight flairs over Longfellow towers (courtesy of  Pinterest).  This bridge is often called the "salt and pepper bridge" because these towers look like salt and pepper shakers.

As we walked over the Longfellow bridge I began to regret not taking the T.    The wind incredibly strong. The canopy on Iylah's stroller acted like a giant sail and I really struggled to keep the stroller on course and push it uphill against the wind.   My hair blew loose from my pony tail and began whipping me in the face and eyes. I squinted my eyes to avoid all the dust that was blowing in the air.  

And then... 

A HUGE gust came.   Waoooshhhhh...

It blew Iylah's little pom pom hat (pictured in this post) onto the roadway.  I love this little hat so I quickly put on the stroller brake and began watching the cars to judge if I could safely hop onto the roadway to retrieve it.     

As I watched Iylah's little hat blow down the roadway a fellow pedestrian approached.  I was hoping he'd save the day and say "Step aside,  I'll retrieve your hat" but  instead he commented "Was that your jacket?? - the blue one??" 

Oh crap.  Despite the crazy wind it was not really that cold so I'd had Brede's blue down jacket stuffed in the undercarriage basket of Iylah's stroller.   The pedestrian continued "It's in the Charles".   Sure enough I looked over the bridge railing and saw the blue jacket.  IN THE RIVER.  Double crap.  In the chaos of chasing down Iylah's little hat I hadn't noticed that the gust has also taken Brede's jacket. 

My face fell.  Oh man...   The pedestrian felt sorry for me and proceeded to chase down Iylah's little hat. So I now have the hat back.  But not our $200 down jacket.

Since we are leaving Boston soon I'd been contemplating how to leave a piece of myself behind.  I just hadn't counted on it being quite this offering.    Charles River gods, I hope you are pleased.  And now warm. 

P.S.  -  This sign also blew down and it was BOLTED to the bridge pole.   To look on the bright side I guess things could have been worse. This sign could have hit Iylah.   Perhaps I do owe a "thank you" to the river gods.  What do you think?  

"Bike Lane" sign that blew off the pole

P.S.S.  -  I'm contemplating how I should break the news to Brede.  Maybe I'll just let him read this blog and cook him a really nice dinner. Oh wait- I'm a pretty bad cook.  Maybe Legal Seafood takeout?